“I was trying to make the horse have a baby. I was thinking it would have a horseman baby. I ain’t going to lie, I blew a nut in the horse.”
Addressing the current economic woes and social malaise of the great depression, FDR’s “The only thing we have to fear… is fear itself,” musing has stood the test of time as one of the greatest quotes ever to fall from the lips of man.
That is, of course, before Andrew Mendoza waxed ecstatic on his intentions of bringing the illustrious fairy-taled Centaur into being.
He was waiting for his girlfriend to call him, but his patience began to wear thin. He issued a personal ultimatum, “I told myself that if she didn’t call me I was going to go next door and mess with the neighbor’s horse.”
His girlfriend, the real culprit of this crime, never called. And as a man of his word, Mr. Mendoza was left with no choice but to resolve.
He claims, also, that “The horse did not try to move or nothing it just stood there…I guess it was liking it.”
Thank you Andrew for alleviating us of our fears of horse-rape. We can now rest easy knowing there was mutual consent involved in this encounter.
Andrew promises that he has not been back over to the horse since that incident.
You see, I can sympathize with a man dabbling in a touch of bestiality. I can even understand the drive to bring the first real-life animorph into existence. But pulling the nefarious Hit-and-Quit, leaving the horse emotionally vulnerable, that is just deplorable.